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A Rogue Meets His Match (The Rogue Chronicles Book 7) Page 14
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“That is excellent news. And Father?”
Margaret couldn’t hold back her sigh. “Confused. He continually goes into her bedchamber to wake her. I’ve tried to explain that she needs rest, but he doesn’t seem to remember.”
“Oh, Margaret.” Caroline blinked back tears which brought them to Margaret’s eyes as well. “I’m so sorry. I could stay with Father and—”
“No. The doctor said no visitors.”
“I’m not a visitor,” Caroline argued only to hesitate, her gaze seeking her husband’s.
Yes, you are, Margaret wanted to say. You don’t live here anymore. But she held back the words, knowing they would hurt her sister. “You have your own family to think of. It would be best if you both left. I will keep you apprised of any changes in Mother’s condition.”
Caroline scowled, clearly dissatisfied, looking again at Aberland as if to seek his opinion.
He placed an arm around her waist, the gesture of affection and support sending a pang of longing through Margaret. How comforting it must be to have a partner with whom to share one’s burdens. To discuss concerns and weigh possible solutions. She’d felt so very alone these past few days. So frightened for her mother. So frustrated with her father.
And uncertain she did the right thing for either of them.
“Caroline and I will call again in the morning and spend a few hours with Sir Reginald. Surely by then, any risk of spreading the illness will have passed.”
“Yes.” Caroline’s quick agreement to his suggestion nearly made Margaret smile. “It’s the least we can do.”
“Lord Wynn is quite worried about you,” Aberland added. “He stopped by our house earlier and wanted to know if we had news.”
Margaret blinked, having difficulty comprehending the information. “Truly?” She pressed two fingers to her chest as her heart lifted at the thought of his concern.
“He said you hadn’t replied to his sister’s message and expressed concern as to your wellbeing.” Aberland watched her closely as he delivered the news, as did Caroline.
Margaret glanced toward her desk in the corner where his second message still sat along with Charlotte’s. “I haven’t had a chance to reply.” That was only partially true. She hadn’t been able to think of a response that didn’t sound as if she were feeling sorry for herself.
This week had been incredibly difficult—one of the more challenging ones she’d had to bear. Telling him the truth of how she felt might’ve deepened their friendship, lending an intimacy that she longed for. But what purpose would it serve when a future between them was impossible?
Her mother’s illness had made clear what Margaret’s priorities needed to be. Continuing her friendship with Edward would only lead to heartache.
Her heart already ached enough.
“You should both go.” She lifted her chin. “I appreciate you coming by, but please go. I would be beside myself with worry if any of you fell ill.”
“You’re certain?” Caroline bit her lip, her manner hesitant.
“Yes.” There was so much more she could say. Having her sister standing before her made her wish she could pour out her heart about everything she was thinking and feeling just as she’d done in the past.
But the time had come to stand on her own and that meant keeping her secrets, including how she felt about Edward.
“We’ll see you in the morning. Meanwhile, remember we’re only a few minutes away,” Aberland added. “We will come day or night if you have need of us.”
“Thank you. The thought helps.” She smiled as it truly did. She was blessed to have a wonderful family. How unfortunate that she longed for even more.
Chapter Fourteen
Edward tossed his hat and gloves on the table as he strode into the entrance hall, having just returned from a meeting with Mr. Ravenby. “Where are my mother and sister?” he asked the butler.
“I believe they are in the drawing room, my lord,” Gordon replied.
With a nod of thanks, Edward took the stairs, the sound of voices soon reaching his ears. His man of business had advised him that the wife of a long-time tenant recently had another baby, and his mother and Charlotte would both want to know.
He entered the drawing room only to slow his steps at the sight of Margaret on the settee beside Charlotte. His mother sat in a nearby chair, and the three were admiring a blue gown that lay on the table before them. But it was Margaret who held his gaze.
It seemed as if a month had passed since he last saw her rather than merely a week. She looked a little tired, with shadows below her eyes and her face paler than normal. Though he wanted to simply stand and watch her for a moment, he continued forward until they noticed his presence.
Margaret's gaze flew to his, their dark depths reflecting a flash of emotion, but it was gone before he could name it. Then a polite mask shuttered her features even as she offered a smile and started to rise.
He quickly waved her back to her seat. “Good afternoon, ladies.” He smiled and forced himself to look at his mother and Charlotte before his gaze returned to Margaret. “How is Lady Gold?”
“Much improved, thank you.” A hint of color appeared in her cheeks, making her look more like her normal self. The tightness in his chest loosened at the sight.
“I'm so pleased to hear that.” Though tempted to ask after her father as well, he held back, aware of the regard of his mother, who seemed especially interested in the conversation.
“Margaret was just showing us her latest creation,” Charlotte said, positively beaming. “Isn't the color gorgeous? I cannot wait to try it on.”
“I have no doubt you will look lovely in it. Especially with Miss Gold's touch in the design.” He enjoyed seeing his sister’s happiness.
“She not only designed it, but she also sewed it.” Charlotte shared a look with Margaret.
“I appreciated having something to work on while I watched over my mother.”
Edward looked at the gown with fresh eyes, impressed by her abilities. Even from this distance, he could see the attention to detail in the little pleats along the bodice and additional ones along the hem as if a professional dressmaker had designed and sewn it. “I am amazed by your talent.”
“Thank you. It’s something I enjoy.” Her modest smile suggested she appreciated Charlotte’s happiness with the gown.
He couldn't help but note how careful she was to avoid his gaze for overlong. When their eyes happened to meet, she quickly looked away. What did that mean? He put aside his question for the moment and simply drank in her presence. He’d missed her.
“I trust you have been well?” Edward asked.
“Indeed, I have.” Her gaze met his briefly again, but a shadow in their depths had him frowning.
“We have missed you at events over the past few days,” he said.
The lift of his mother’s brow out of the corner of his eye made him realize his mistake too late. If he weren't careful, she might guess how fond he’d become of Margaret. That would never do.
“Haven’t we?” he added with a pointed look at Charlotte.
“Very much so.” Charlotte nodded. “The Osterly Ball wasn’t the same without you. I believe the Evanston Ball is coming up. Will you be attending?” she asked Margaret.
“I haven’t yet decided.”
“Will you be attending, Edward?” his mother asked even as she glanced at Margaret.
“Perhaps.” Edward knew she liked Margaret, but he didn't want to get her hopes up. Yet as his gaze returned unwillingly to Margaret, he realized it was his own hopes he needed to worry over. What was the saying about absence making the heart grow fonder?
He told himself he was especially pleased to see her because he had been so concerned. But that wasn't quite true. There was more to it, just as there had been more to his worry when she hadn't replied to his message.
The emotions swirling inside him had him questioning his path. Did he truly need to marry an heiress? What might i
t be like to marry someone solely because of the way he felt about her? Would doing so bring him the deep, abiding happiness that had escaped his parents’ marriage? Or should the choice of a wife be made using logical and financial reasons as his father had always insisted?
For the moment, he allowed himself to set aside the weighty issue and took a seat near the ladies, content to simply listen. He had yet to become accustomed to happy feminine chatter filling this room. His father's presence had cast a gloom over the house for as long as he could remember.
“I’m afraid I can’t stay long,” Margaret said. “Annabelle will need to return home soon, so I must relieve her.”
“How nice that she was able to relieve you for a spell.” Edward had to point out as Margaret was obviously still tired.
“She wanted to come sooner, but I advised against it,” Margaret said. “She already has a baby to care for.”
“Now that both your sisters have children, I’m sure it’s more difficult for them to visit your parents,” Charlotte said.
“Yes, but they call on us frequently,” Margaret answered.
While that was well and good, Margaret was the main caregiver with her mother ill. Edward still didn’t think that was fair.
Charlotte did most of the talking with his mother adding a comment here and there marked by even fewer from Margaret. His sister frequently glanced at her friend as if sensing her unease. If he were to guess, he would say Margaret was too aware of his presence to relax and participate in the conversation, yet he couldn’t bring himself to leave.
He enjoyed having Margaret there, seeing how easily she fit in with the two other women he loved. He couldn’t help but think of her remark about how important it was for him to choose a wife that Charlotte and his mother liked. She had been right. He didn’t want someone who caused tension in his family. Yet he also knew the chance of finding someone they would like as well as Margaret was nil.
“What do you think, Edward?”
He glanced about to see all three pairs of eyes directed at him. “My apologies. I was woolgathering. What were you saying?”
“We were discussing the menu for the wedding breakfast,” Charlotte said.
“I bow to whatever you think best.”
Margaret cleared her throat. “Did you want to try on the gown before I go?”
“Excellent idea.” Charlotte rose, holding it before her. “Though I’m sure it will fit perfectly.”
“Allow me to help you, my dear,” Lady Wynn said as she also stood and followed Charlotte out of the drawing room, their voices slowly fading.
Edward straightened in his chair, surprised to have the unexpected moment alone with Margaret. “Your mother is truly recovering?”
“She is. Of course, she rests much of the time, but the doctor no longer thinks the illness is contagious.”
“I’m pleased to hear that.” It only took one look to see Margaret needed more than an hour or two away. She needed a few days of rest herself. He bit his tongue from saying such.
“Her cough is much improved,” Margaret added as if to fill the silence.
“I’m certain the past week was not easy. You must’ve been quite worried about her.” His admiration for Margaret bloomed even more. How many other ladies of his acquaintance would show such selflessness, putting aside their plans to tend their parents rather than leaving their care in the hands of servants?
Margaret’s lips pressed together briefly, seeming to confirm his statement. “I was. She was having such difficulty breathing that I feared each one might be her last. Father was concerned as well. Unfortunately, he insisted on checking on her himself rather than allowing her to rest.”
“You must be exhausted.”
“It has been a long week,” she said with a tired smile. “I’m just pleased Mother is doing better. Thank you for your messages.”
“Of course.”
“My apologies for not replying to the last one. The situation had grown rather hectic, and it was all I could do to keep up.”
“I can’t imagine how difficult that must’ve been.” His father’s gout had been a continual problem for their household, but it was nothing like what Margaret had endured. The irritation he’d felt on her behalf returned and had him shifting in his chair. He assumed she knew he’d spoken to Aberland and felt he owed her an explanation. “I didn’t like knowing that you carried the burden of their care on your own.”
“Aberland mentioned your concern when he and Caroline called.” Her blush returned along with a small smile that caused his irritation to fade as quickly as it had come.
“Yes, well, I decided it couldn’t hurt to mention it to him.” He studied her more closely. “It didn’t, did it? Cause any harm?”
Hopefully, Aberland and his wife hadn’t drawn any conclusions about his relationship with Margaret because of his visit. Yet he only had to think about the feel of her in his arms and her response to his kisses to know they shared a certain level of attraction. Where it would lead—if anywhere—he didn’t know.
Even now, the urge to comfort her, to hold her, had him gripping the arms of the chair to keep from doing so.
“Not at all.” Her brow furrowed, and her attention was suddenly caught by her glove as she worried the tip of a finger for a long moment.
Edward felt the tension between them and didn’t care for it. It was as if she were keeping him at arm’s length. He missed the easy camaraderie they’d previously shared. “May I ask if there’s something on your mind?” he asked.
She looked up as if surprised he’d noticed her unease. “I-I wondered how your search was coming along,” she said at last.
Disappointment settled heavily over him. That wasn’t what he hoped she’d say.
“I confess that I haven’t given it much consideration in the last few days.” The last subject he wanted to discuss was his intention to find a bride. Not when he was enjoying simply being with her. He searched her face, wondering how she wanted him to answer.
“I see.” She gave a single nod, drew a breath, and lifted her chin as if to find the courage to say more. “I was doing some thinking and came upon another candidate for your consideration.”
“Oh?” Edward’s heart sank even as an arrow of hurt speared through him. He didn’t want to hear the suggestion. Not when he had the unsettling need for Margaret to declare that no one else would do but her.
“Lady Dorothy, the daughter of the Marquess of Caldwell. I have heard delightful comments about her. Have you been introduced?”
“I don’t believe so,” he bit out, unable to hide his upset.
“Her dowry is said to be significant. She is attractive and well-mannered.” She paused a moment. “I believe Charlotte would speak favorably of her as well.”
The hope that had been growing deep inside him snuffed out. “I see.” In other words, Margaret didn’t want to explore the attraction that smoldered between them.
He understood all about obligations and responsibilities. Those were what had placed him on the path to marry an heiress to begin with. But what about what they wanted? Why didn’t that matter?
Before he could say anything more, Charlotte returned, wearing the gown.
“It’s perfect,” his sister declared then glanced between the two of them as if sensing something was amiss.
“It is indeed.” Edward stood. “If you will both excuse me, I have business to attend to.” He tipped his head then departed without a backward glance.
Margaret had made her intentions clear. She had no wish to pursue their relationship.
Good, he told himself as he descended the stairs. Now he could focus on what he should’ve been doing all along. He would seek an introduction to the lady that Margaret had suggested as soon as an opportunity presented itself. As soon as he remembered what her name was.
~*~
Margaret silently berated herself as she entered the Evanston ballroom along with Caroline and Aberland. Obviously, she was a glutton fo
r punishment. Chances were high that Lady Dorothy would be in attendance, along with Edward.
Watching them converse or dance would bring nothing but heartache. She’d told herself exactly that numerous times over the past two days. Yet here she was. At times, she detested the stubborn, persistent side of herself.
The argument that seeing them together would bring closure to her feelings for Edward sounded false even to her ears. In her heart, she knew it wouldn’t. Her regard and affection for him ran too deep. Being with him again when she’d visited with Charlotte confirmed the fact.
However, the many reasons they couldn’t be together were impossible to ignore. She’d made a decision about her future and knew in her heart it was the right one. Her mother’s illness had made it even clearer that tending her husband without help was impossible. Having a few hours of assistance several times a week would be helpful but not the same as having a family member in the household.
Watching the polite but cool mask drop over Edward’s features when she’d described Lady Dorothy had caused her chest to tighten, and the vise around it had yet to loosen. Hence the reason for attending the ball. She had to do something to move past the pain and allow herself to think about something other than Edward.
After all, her life was full and rewarding. She had the next set of fashion plates to draw as well as the commentary to write that went along with them. However, the man she’d drawn had looked remarkedly like Edward. Since then, she’d only sat staring at a blank page, hoping for inspiration that hadn’t come.
Surely the attire of the many guests in attendance this evening would spark an idea for a unique design of her own. Never mind how she’d held tight with relief at finding a second reason to attend. She’d even worn one of her favorite gowns to cheer herself, though it had yet to create the desired effect.
“Do try to smile, dear,” Caroline whispered after they’d greeted their hosts and entered the ballroom. “This is supposed to be an enjoyable evening.”
Margaret did as her sister bid, despite how awkward it felt. “I suppose I’m out of practice. My mind remains at home with Mother and Father.”