A Rogue's Reputation (The Rogue Chronicles Book 2) Page 9

  ~*~

  Louisa entered the drawing room the following afternoon to find both Caroline and Annabelle waiting. “This is a pleasant surprise,” she said as she gave first Annabelle then Caroline a hug.

  As she drew back from Caroline, the tension in her cousin’s expression was impossible to ignore. “Is something amiss?”

  “I’m afraid we bring bad news.” Caroline reached for Louisa’s hand and held it tight. “Granger has been challenged to a duel.”

  Louisa’s breath caught, her emotions tumbling. “That can’t be.” Rogues might fight duels, but Benjamin had changed his ways. “By who?”

  “Viscount Gibbon.”

  “Lady Adele’s brother? Whatever for?”

  Caroline released her hand as she shared a look with Annabelle. “Gibbon accused him of taking liberties with his sister.”

  Louisa closed her eyes at the stunned disbelief that washed through her only to hold tight with a painful grip. She knew Benjamin was acquainted Lady Adele, but never had she noted him being anything but polite toward the shy woman. Certainly, she was attractive with a generous dowry, and thus far, her behavior had been above reproach. She would make an ideal wife, especially for a rogue. Yet she couldn’t fathom the idea.

  “During Delham’s house party?” Louisa’s thoughts raced, trying to think of whether there could be any truth to the accusation.

  Caroline nodded.

  “An offer of marriage would eliminate the need for them to go through with it.” Louisa focused on drawing in each breath, willing the terrible pain to recede. Nothing stood in Benjamin’s way if he wanted to marry Lady Adele. He’d made no promises to Louisa.

  “Yes. But Granger has refused. We were hoping Gibbon would withdraw his demand today, but that hasn’t happened. They meet at dawn.”

  “Is Aberland acting as his second?”

  Caroline scowled. “Apparently so. Men. Stubborn and filled with pride.”

  “True.” Louisa swallowed against the lump in her throat. Her worst fear had come to pass—that a rogue like Benjamin would never truly change. She’d spent the past few years dealing with her mother’s reckless behavior and already grown weary of the pitying glances and the hesitation before invitations were extended. She had no intention of living like that because of her husband. Not that he’d offered for her. Now she’d never know if that had been his intent.

  She might love Benjamin—the realization had her drawing a shaky breath—but she refused to spend the rest of her life worrying over what scandal might befall him. She needed to put aside her feelings for him and find someone whose behavior was impeccable.

  “This is for the best, really,” she murmured, wishing she meant it.

  Annabelle reached out to touch her arm. “How so? I think it’s horrible.”

  “Not at all.” She lifted her chin, hoping the pain would fade with time. “Thank goodness this happened now before I became enamored with him.” Did her cousins believe the lie?

  “Granger was quite angry by Gibbon’s demand from what Richard said,” Caroline offered. “I’m sure he’ll want to explain. Don’t give up on him, Louisa.”

  She blinked rapidly. “I don’t want to hear explanations.” The situation made her worry that his reputation as a rogue was more than just a reputation—it was fact. Part of the present, not just the past. She couldn’t plan her future with a man she couldn’t trust. Not after all she’d been through with her mother. She needed time to think. “Please advise the Earl of Granger not to contact me or attend the Christmas Eve celebration. I have no wish to see him any time soon.”

  She only wished she could convince her heart of that.

  Chapter Eleven

  Benjamin rose well before dawn after a sleepless night and quickly dressed without bothering to ring for his valet. He wanted this morning over so he could try to gather the threads of his life back together. Gibbon had not come to his senses, much to Benjamin’s dismay.

  He’d been through each moment of the Delham’s house party and knew he hadn’t taken liberties Lady Adele in any manner. He’d danced with her and shared the carriage ride to church but otherwise hadn’t touched her.

  Had something untoward happened during that brief ride for which she blamed him? He’d taken great care to remain pressed into the corner, unmoving during the trip. She hadn’t appeared upset when she alighted.

  With a sigh, he ran a hand through his hair. There was nothing to be done but move forward and hope for a favorable outcome of the duel. Though he might escape with his life, his world was now in shambles. The charity planning would have to begin again. When word of the duel spread, along with the fact that Delham had withdrawn support, gathering funds would be much more difficult, perhaps even impossible.

  And Louisa...

  His entire being ached when he allowed himself to think of her. Everything he’d thought impossible, including a happy marriage filled with love, had seemed possible with her at his side.

  He shook his head as he descended the stairs, a sick knot in the pit of his stomach. The message Aberland had delivered from Caroline made it clear that Louisa didn’t wish to see him again. He couldn’t blame her. Dueling was dangerous and illegal. Heaven forbid he or Gibbon actually killed the other, as the survivor would face murder charges. Assuming the viscount didn’t kill him, Benjamin’s reputation would be worse than before.

  Viscount Stanich would no doubt do his best to comfort Louisa. They’d most likely have a June wedding. He rubbed his hand over the ache in his chest at the idea. Just when he’d thought the path for his future was clear, this happened, and all was lost.

  He nodded at the footman as he stepped into the carriage, pleased he’d asked Aberland to meet him at Putney Heath with the pistols. Conversation was beyond him this morning. Sleet fell, lending an additional layer of misery to the day. It perfectly suited his mood.

  After well over an hour, the driver stopped the carriage beside Aberland’s in a clearing. Benjamin’s thoughts were unable to settle on anything. Except Louisa. He closed his eyes. She was beyond his reach. He needed to release his affection for her somehow.

  Yet he feared it was too late. He loved her with a depth he knew he’d never find again.

  How ironic that Lady Adele matched the type of wife he’d thought perfect for his reformation before he’d met Louisa. But he had no desire to spend his life with her.

  He stepped out of the carriage as Aberland did the same, a box containing a pair of pistols tucked under his arm.

  “Morning,” Aberland said.

  Benjamin appreciated that he hadn’t added “good” to the greeting. “Thank you for coming.”

  “Couldn’t have you face this on your own. Hell of a way to spend Christmas Eve.” He patted Benjamin’s shoulder. “It’s been years since I’ve witnessed such excitement.”

  “Liar.” Benjamin well knew Aberland’s life as a spy had held more close calls than most. He’d been shot and left for dead at one point, though he rarely talked about it.

  “Come now. One must keep a sense of humor over these things.”

  “Must one?”

  His utter despair must’ve shown, for Aberland patted his shoulder again. “We will look for a silver lining in all this. Caroline has convinced me there’s one in every situation.”

  “The weather is too miserable to find it, I’m afraid.” Benjamin sighed as Gibbon’s carriage came into view. “There goes my first hope.”

  “That he’d fail to appear? Yes, that was probably too much to ask. He’s already proven himself a fool for not pressing his sister for an explanation.”

  “Then let us be done with this.” Benjamin walked toward Gibbon’s carriage, annoyed when a long moment passed before the viscount and his brother bothered to alight.

  When at last the carriage door opened, Gibbon’s grim expression suggested he remained determined to see this through. He glanced at the sky. Though dawn had surely arrived, it had done little to lighten the greyness. �
�We shall have to hope the pistols will fire in this wetness.”

  A fool indeed, Benjamin thought. If he knew what was good for him, he’d wish both the firearms became wet. That would allow them to call the matter satisfied without the risk of physical harm.

  “Did Lady Adele offer any details as to when I might have committed this offense?” he asked the viscount.

  The man lifted his chin. “I have no need to question what she told me. She is my sister. Have you reconsidered offering for her hand?”

  “Though I’m certain Lady Adele will make someone a fine wife, that man is not me.”

  “Then let us proceed.” Gibbon glanced at his younger brother as if unsure what came next.

  “Why don’t we examine the pistols in the shelter of my carriage to make certain they remain dry?” Aberland suggested, then with a wry glance at Benjamin, led the way.

  Benjamin followed, and Aberland opened the wooden box inside the carriage. Benjamin selected one of the pistols, and Gibbon picked up the other, both careful to keep them out of the sleet.

  “Shall we say twenty paces?” Aberland asked.

  “Fifteen,” Gibbon countered. “The weather is difficult enough without standing so far apart.”

  “Very well.” Benjamin made quick work out of loading his pistol, then held it under his coat to keep the flint dry. He watched as Gibbon loaded his, hesitating over the procedure as if unfamiliar with the weapon.

  At last, both men walked toward the center of the clearing with the seconds following behind. Gibbon’s jerky stride suggested nerves, but Benjamin felt dead inside. Still, he had to try one last time to stop this madness.

  “We don’t have to do this,” Benjamin said quietly. “Surely we can call the matter settled. You have my word that I did not touch Lady Adele.”

  Gibbon’s glare was answer enough.

  Benjamin turned back-to-back with Gibbon. Aberland counted in a loud, clear voice, and Benjamin matched his stride to the counts, his mind blank.

  “Thirteen. Fourteen. Fifteen.”

  Benjamin turned and lifted the pistol to see Gibbon doing the same. He had no intention of killing the man. He could only hope Gibbon had the foresight to feel the same way. With slow movements, he raised his weapon, heart thudding wildly as he prepared for the sound of Gibbon’s shot ripping the air.

  Gibbon had difficulty holding the pistol steady as he took aim. Benjamin gritted his teeth, fearing the man would pull the trigger at the wrong moment and kill him after all.

  Benjamin aimed his pistol to the right of Gibbon and squeezed off a shot. The sound caused the viscount to jerk in surprise. The flare of Gibbon’s gun firing held Benjamin’s gaze, and he braced for impact.

  ~*~

  Louisa spent much of the day pretending to assist her mother with preparations for the Christmas Eve ball, but her joy for the holiday had ended with Caroline and Annabelle’s visit the previous day. She’d wanted to cancel the ball, but her mother refused, insisting their reputations would only suffer further if they did. “We must hold our heads high despite the terrible circumstances,” she’d told Louisa.

  How could Louisa possibly think about anything when Benjamin might be injured at this very moment? Or worse—lost his life this day?

  The thought made her shudder. She abandoned her attempt to adjust the greenery on the mantle in the drawing room. A sense of dread flooded her, making her feel weak. She couldn’t think, could hardly breathe. No matter how many times she tried to tell herself that she should make plans for a future without Benjamin, she had to know if he was well.

  She still couldn’t believe he’d made unwanted advances toward Lady Adele. The man she’d come to know wouldn’t have done so. She’d witnessed his noble, thoughtful deeds on more than one occasion. He was an honorable man.

  That truth gave her pause. Did she dare listen to what her heart believed? Or would doing so only place her in jeopardy of a life spent worrying over what he might do next? Could the whole challenge be a terrible misunderstanding? Should she have stood by him through all of this?

  “Lady Adele Gibbon asks if you’re receiving, my lady,” James, the footman, announced.

  Louisa stared at him in puzzled disbelief, unable to think of a reason she’d call. Did she have news of the outcome of the duel? “Please show her in.”

  A few moments later, Lady Adele hesitated in the doorway as if uncertain of her welcome.

  And Louisa knew.

  Knew beyond a doubt that she’d fabricated the accusation that had placed Benjamin in danger. Louisa gripped her hands so hard that her nails dug into her palms, aware she’d allowed Benjamin’s reputation to take precedence over what she knew in her heart to be true. The man she loved truly was an honorable man.

  Loved.

  Yes, it was true. No longer would she deny the fact. She supposed in some terrible way she should thank Lady Adele for helping her realize the depth of her feelings. But she had no intention of doing so.

  “Lady L-Louisa.” The woman’s gloved hands clutched her reticule as if her life depended on it. “I-I hope the day finds you well.”

  Louisa said nothing as she stared at her, afraid the anger simmering inside her might spill out.

  Pain and regret swept over Adele’s pale face as she drew a shuddering breath. “I’ve come to apologize for my deplorable b-behavior.”

  “I don’t believe you should apologize to me. The Earl of Granger perhaps. Or your brothers. But not me.”

  Adele stepped forward with one hand outstretched as if to plead her case. “My brothers have yet to return home from the duel. I couldn’t possibly call on Granger without...”

  “Ruining your reputation? That concern should’ve crossed your mind before you created the lie that took them to Putney Heath.”

  Adele jolted at her words. “Yes. Yes, I should have. I’m afraid I allowed my feelings for Granger to overcome good sense.”

  Louisa raised a brow. “I wasn’t aware you knew him well.”

  She sighed with longing. “Only in my dreams do I have that privilege. But I’ve seen how he looks at you.” Adele’s dark eyes held on Louisa with desperation. “I wanted him to look at me that way. To see me.” She looked away. “But of course, he didn’t. No man does.”

  “So you chose to invent a story that would force him to.”

  Adele nodded reluctantly. “I never meant for it to go this far. I hoped he’d call on me to discuss it—”

  “You mean you hoped he’d be forced to propose.” The pity Louisa felt didn’t outweigh her anger. Adele’s act had been utterly selfish, and Louisa had no intention of excusing it.

  The woman’s shoulders sank as her gaze dropped to the floor at the accusation. “Yes,” she admitted after a long moment. She looked up, blinking back tears. “That is why I owe you an apology as well. Granger obviously cares for you a great deal. Anyone who witnesses the way he watches you can see that.”

  Louisa glanced away, not wanting Adele to see how much she hoped her words were true, that it wasn’t too late for her to redeem herself. “Why didn’t you take action before the duel?”

  Tears ran down Adele’s face as she shook her head. “I’m truly sorry.”

  Louisa didn’t know if she could find it in her heart to forgive her. Certainly not until she knew if Benjamin was safe. “I hope your brother and the earl emerge unscathed.”

  “As do I. Thank you for seeing me.” Adele wiped her wet cheeks then turned to go.

  “May I offer advice?”

  Adele turned back with wariness. “Of course.”

  “Your somberness puts people off. If you could pretend to enjoy attending the parties or speaking to others, you would win over many people.”

  Her eyes widened in surprise. “I do enjoy them. It’s just that I feel like I’m intruding, as if I don’t belong.” She shook her head.

  “Be yourself rather than worrying overmuch about what others think.” If only she’d concerned herself less with that. “You migh
t be surprised which men notice you.”

  Adele seemed to consider her words for a few moments then gave a single nod. “Thank you. I appreciate that.” She drew a shuddering breath. “I’m going to return home with the hope my brother has arrived so I can apologize to him as well. I doubt he’ll be as gracious as you have been.”

  Louisa prayed both he and Benjamin were alive and well to hear the lady’s apology.

  Chapter Twelve

  Beth pinched Louisa’s cheeks that evening as she sat before her dressing table mirror. “You’re far too pale, my lady. Are you certain you’re feeling well?”

  No, she wanted to shout. Not when her message to Benjamin had remained unanswered through the long afternoon. Darkness had fallen, and still, she’d heard nothing. She’d sent a message to Caroline as well, but her cousin hadn’t responded either.

  “I’ll be fine. Thank you.” Louisa rose and smoothed the skirt of her white satin gown. A wide red velvet ribbon graced the empire waist with matching narrower ribbons woven through the lace of the neckline and capped sleeves.

  “You look like an angel, my lady.” Beth adjusted the freshwater pearls strung on a wire that adorned her hair.

  The maid’s description made her want to cry. She was no angel. She hadn’t saved anyone. She’d pushed away Benjamin when he’d needed her most. Her hope to have the chance to apologize was slowly dying. She felt fragile as if one wrong move might shatter her into a thousand pieces.

  She could think of only two possible reasons Benjamin hadn’t responded to her message. He was too injured to do so, or he couldn’t forgive her. The idea that he’d lost his life was unbearable, and she refused to consider it. She gave herself a mental shake. As if her unwillingness to think the worst could save him.

  She’d abandoned him when she should’ve stood by his side. If she’d confronted Adele prior to the duel, she might’ve been able to force her to tell the truth.

  Instead, she’d done nothing.

  “Louisa?” Her mother stood in the bedroom door. “Are you ready? It’s almost time.” She entered the room, her gaze sweeping over her. “You look beautiful.”